Saturday, January 20, 2018

Tales of The Magical Ranger School Trees

Joyce Kilmer expressed a sense of awe for the beauty and wonder of trees when he penned,
I think that I shall never seeA poem lovely as a tree.
Since posting a Blog entry regarding the rigors of the U.S. Army Ranger School, I have been fascinated by the encounters Ranger School Graduates report they had with trees during their training. It seems these special interactions are brought on as the severe result of extreme sleep deprivation (4 hours daily, or less, for over 2 months.) During Ranger School, trees sometimes seem to have a function similar to the "Holodeck" on Star Trek.

My friend and brother, Brett Lewis, shared how he faced a significant challenge trying to convince his Ranger Buddy not to put coins into a tree his buddy was certain was a soft drink machine.While he stopped his buddy from wasting his money, the Buddy was never quite convinced about the tree's identity as merely being a tree.  Upon reading that story, another Ranger Graduate reported having the same delusion, except he actually did put coins into the tree, and began beating the tree with his entrenching tool when it didn't dispense a refreshing beverage after he had inserted his change!

Yet another friend told of how in the middle of the night, his wife suddenly appeared next to him and an argument ensued with him telling her she had to leave because she wasn't authorized to be at Ranger School.  The argument continued for some time, until he was shaken by his bewildered Ranger Buddy, only to discover he had actually been arguing with a tree for the entire episode!  Spouses, soda machines and little green men have all made appearances to Ranger School Students thanks to the magical Ranger Trees!

If you'd like to hear more fascinating Ranger Tree tales, just ask a Ranger! They'll have stories, both scary and funny, to take your breath away from either terror or laughter! I leave you with a slightly edited line from Kilmer's poem, that just may explain the mystical properties of those Ranger School trees,

[Blogs] are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.


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