When Christians Disagree

In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity. This maxim has served as a guidepost for Christian conduct concerning debatable issues for centuries. Nevertheless, there are times when Brothers and Sisters find themselves at junctures where differences of opinion strain relationships at the least, and lead to a parting of ways at the worst. How can Christians maintain Christ-like love when tensions are high, feelings are raw and dreams of accomplishing great things together for God seem out reach? As a vocational Christian servant who has logged in almost 25 years of ministry, I have witnessed some significant church conflicts. Scripture has comforted me in these times and given me some clear guidance to navigate the stormy waters that sometimes pose a challenge in the Christian journey.

I have come to recognize that though it is preferable to have a walk of faith free of conflict, tensions among Christians are part of the Christian life. This was true even at the genesis of the church. After the Apostle Paul’s Emmaus Road experience during which he become a follower of Jesus, his former life of persecuting Christians was a persistent memory in the minds of other Christians; so persistent, that church leaders were hesitant to accept the credentials of faith he presented. It took the strong advocacy of missionary leader Barnabas to gain Paul’s acceptance into the Christian community. This stance led to a deep, thriving friendship and ministry partnership between the two men. However, even this seemingly unbreakable bond of brotherhood was tested when a disagreement arose between them regarding another brother’s readiness for ministry. Acts 15:36-41 recounts how between them there arose “such a sharp disagreement that they parted company.” Who could claim to be more zealous for the message of Jesus than the Apostle Paul? Who could claim to be more gracious, loving and accepting than Barnabas? Not many if anyone! Yet, even between these two spiritual Titans, a difference of opinion over a non-doctrinal issue arose that caused these two righteous and upright brothers to part ways. Conflict happens. Differences of opinion and approach arise, yet how we conduct ourselves in the midst of conflict says much about our hearts and the maturity level of our faith. The New Testament record seems to indicate that the two evangelists eventually arrived at a point of mutual respect, sharing resources and people even though they continued ministering independently, and never seem to have directly partnered in ministry together again.

Scripture calls Christian believers to act, speak and conduct our online activities with civility and love. It is not necessarily wrong to disagree, but the manner in which one disagrees and the attitudes displayed will dictate whether the debate leads to long-term resentment or to mutual respect. Colossians 4:6 admonishes us to “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Gracious communication should be reasonable, careful and courteous. We must handle our disagreements in an agreeable way. We have to constantly ask ourselves questions such as, “Am I venting or sharing?” “Am I being kind or cutting?” “Am I sharing in the proper context?” “Do I really need to share what I am feeling or is it best to ponder my thoughts a bit more?” “If I believe I need to share what is on my heart, what can I do to communicate my love for those I am trying to convince?”

I have been able to observe a few truths in action that I’d like to share. In my experience, no matter on what side of an issue Brothers and Sisters may have taken – even disagreements sharp enough to cause a parting of ways – those who walked in the light and love of Jesus were the quickest to heal and the first to reach out for some sort of reconciliation. Humility and love must guide truth and light. Right facts presented in a wrong way, “still ain’t right!” People we love deeply will sometimes disagree on a matter that hurts us greatly. Nevertheless, we must do all we can to peacefully follow our convictions while trusting that the brother or sister on the other side of the matter has righteous intentions but for whatever reason, just can’t see the situation the same as I do.

We should always seek to present our case in a way that demonstrates Christ in us and bears witness as His love shines through. In John 13:34-35 Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” It should always be our goal that in all our dealing, whether verbal, written or electronic, that others be able to clearly see our love for each other, even when we disagree. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us beautiful and unfailing instruction regarding the power of this kind of love – Jesus’ love:

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away…When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

If along the walk of faith you find yourself in disagreement with a fellow believer, remember that the way you voice your disagreement is just as important as the truth for which you are trying to stand. Make sure that in everything you do you are representing the Lord with excellence and love. Bathe all your actions in prayer. Finally, as you press forward doing your best to prove your point, make sure that as you win your argument you do your best not to lose your friend.

Until Next time…

Sam

Thankful for Pesky Brothers and Sisters!

They just wouldn’t stop bugging me. I received mysterious e-mails and grinning faces would appear at my door repeating the same two-word message: “Family Camp!” John and Randy were the worst! It was almost a mantra with them. It got to the point that I would look for cover whenever I saw them, but there was no escape. The message came through loud and clear – “FAMILY CAMP!” After months of persistent yet friendly pressure, I gave in. “Okay, I’ll go! Let’s see what this Family Camp is all about!” I feigned enthusiasm, but was anything but eager to attend.

Luz couldn’t believe I’d committed us to go. “We’re not a camping family!” She reminded me. “What are we going to do there? It’s in Iowa – there’s nothing there but corn!” I agreed, but it was too late, we were Iowa-bound with our two youngest daughters Joana and Victoria and Joana’s best friend Feven. What had I gotten us into?

When we arrived, we were shown our quarters. Everyone was in the same bedroom and the accommodations were tight. It was Family Camp and families were housed in a bunk-house style to promote interaction, which meant a lot of shared space. Luz’s world-class resourcefulness went into high gear and she fashioned a “Wall of Jericho” from extra sheets we had brought with us to divide the room between us and the girls, providing a sense of privacy in our shared environs. We were pleasantly surprised to find we had air-conditioning which made our room very comfortable. There was a full-service bathroom with hot and cold running water! This wasn’t the way I was used to camping back in the day! I could get used to this!

Nevertheless, the first day was still a bit of a struggle. We had missed an introductory session and didn’t know how things functioned, what activities were planned and how we were supposed to make sure the girls were plugged into all their activities. Besides that, I was speaking and had responsibilities related to our chapel sessions and worship times. We felt a bit out of our element, like we had landed in another country, but my dear friend and Lead Teaching Pastor Paul, who was in charge, slapped me on the back, grinned and said, “You’ll get used to it!”

Luz and I awoke after a surprisingly good night’s sleep. We prayed together, got everyone else going and were greeted by our family counselor, Andrea, who was assigned to us to assist us with Victoria and to make our stay less stressful. When we realized that we could go through the day with the kids all fully engaged in activities while having the freedom to do things we wanted to do, the week was looking a lot better! The food only sweetened the deal. Breakfasts were fit for royalty, lunch was varied, tasty and filling and dinner always delicious with nothing less than the word “heaping” best describing all the portions. By mid-week I was wondering if we really needed to eat anything else before Saturday!

The fellowship times were warm and uniting. We had great worship times and I certainly enjoyed doing the teaching for the week. The messages came from my heart and the feedback I received was encouraging. There was also plenty of time to get to know folks over meals, in casual conversations, and special activities. There was also opportunity to get to know ourselves a little better as well. My best time for becoming reacquainted with myself came on the challenge course named the Leap of Faith (It could have been called the "road to perdition", but it probably wouldn't sucker in guys like me!) On this course, I joined my daughter Joana and her best friend Feven for a rugged half-mile hike up a steep, rocky hillside, climbed 35-40 ft up a tree, had an extended battle with a mini-zip line (which I won but not without getting a MAJOR wedgie and using my reserve of strength for the next 3 years) and finally took the "Leap of Faith" where I didn't land where I wanted to, but learned I still had the courage to leap out into the uncertain without fear.

Parents night out was like a crown jewel to our week! We feasted on a sumptuous buffet, sang karaoke with such vigor and joy that for the first time in human history, sober people cleared the in restaurant bar with only the sonic weapons of our voices! They just couldn’t believe we were having that much fun without drinking! There were more opportunities to interact and share, building deeper friendships and lasting memories.

We had two camp-related injuries as one member of our group sprained an ankle and another had a severe leg break. The love, help, courage and compassion that manifested in these tough situations were a testament to the commitment to each other than sprang from our common faith and shared experience on church and at camp.

When Saturday arrived and the time to leave had come, I couldn’t believe how much my family and I had enjoyed our camp experience. I’m so thankful for the pesky Brothers and sisters who pestered us for months to come and held our feet to the fire when we tried to flake out. This is what community is all about – caring enough to force our friends to do something that is good for them, even as they sometimes kick and scream along the way. I’m thrilled to say I’ve joined the ranks of the Family Camp Fan Club and look forward to the privilege of doing a bit of pestering myself to get someone like me to leave another one of their comfort zones to experience some sweet and transforming community and fun! So look out, here I come wanting to see YOU at the next Family Camp!

Until next time…

My Apologies To Trigger

The sound rang in the air. At first I wasn’t sure, but there was no mistaking it. It came through loud and clear. I got in the car and told Luz about it – that ignominious greeting that had flavored many of our ministry experiences in the hard-nosed, rust belt cities of the Midwest and the polite and genteel haunts of the Bible Belt in the South. I heard it. Just as I stepped out of the post office, walking towards my car, in the dark of night, I heard it above the roaring engine of the passing vehicle and background noise of a near-by gas station. It came in a cacophony of voices, united in purpose and intent on delivering an age-old greeting that in one word delivered an avalanche of messages. “[N-WORD!!!!]”

My first reaction was actually one of satisfaction. I thought, “I must still look pretty intimidating if they had to use the cover of darkness, passing by at a high rate of speed, heading in the opposite direction to gather up the courage to say ‘it!’” I tried to process the occurrence to see if there was some action or attitude I had displayed that had initiated such a greeting. I took note that I wasn’t wearing a Vikings or Bears jersey and had no bumper stickers or paraphernalia that disparaged beer or cheese. Nope. It was simply a drive-by shooting off at the lip. As I put our minivan into gear, Luz nervously asked “What are you doing? You’re not going to chase them, are you?” “Nah!” I replied. I might still look intimidating, but I know my limitations and I doubt very seriously that the Lord would take kindly to my chasing down some misguided souls who had no better way to amuse themselves than to “call me a name that rhymes with the name of Roy Roger’s horse – ‘Trigger!’”

Nevertheless, it was still a noteworthy moment in our Wisconsin existence. I’ve now had an “N-Word” experience on every continent that I have visited and in every ministry venue in which I have served. I’ve had “N-Word” encounters feeding the poor overseas, in dangerous neighborhoods stateside and in places as classy as the Hotel Thayer at West Point, even as I wore my Full Dress Grey Uniform! There seems to be no rest or escape from its tentacles. Having said this, my latest experience has not angered or frustrated me. It has simply served as another reminder that in this land of warm greetings, cheese wheels, Kringles and the Green Bay Packers, there are people who need to experience the love and forgiveness that Jesus calls all Christians to display, and there is no time to go on vacation from loving, reaching out and forgiving, even if it hurts.

If the “N-Word” persists, we who know Jesus and all those who are committed to good will and peace among people must stubbornly cling to the way of truth, love, forgiveness and righteousness that Jesus exemplified. After all, even the noble “Trigger” - Roy Roger’s trusted equine collaborator - consistently displayed honor, integrity, good manners and good will towards all, though nothing more than a beast of burden. Unfortunately, it seems that when it comes to decent and loving behavior, some humans still don’t have horse sense. Trigger I apologize for my misguided friends, and commit myself to extend a hand of friendship and pray that others will persist in extending their hands too! Until next time…


Sam

He’s Got The Wind and the Rain In His Hands

After months of preparation and anticipation, I couldn’t believe the weather forecast for the opening day of our Kids Summer Outreach - Vacation Bible School – “Thunderstorms throughout the day – hot and humid with showers continuing throughout the evening.” “Wonderful.” I thought. All the work that had been put towards this very important step up in our church’s outreach efforts, could be put on hold for our opening day or at least significantly weaken our start, most probably putting a damper on the entire week to follow. If that news didn’t take the wind out of our sails, the same forecast was predicted for Thursday, the last day of our outreach too. Great.

Just as my joy started to creep away, I remembered a friend’s response to a similar situation back in Seminary when we faced a potentially disappointing start to a ministry opportunity due to circumstances beyond our control. While several of us moaned and complained and fretted about what we would do next, our friend Henry began to smile. He put his arms around our shoulders and began to sing, “He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands. He’s got the wind and the rain, in His hands. He’s got the wind and the rain, in His hands – He’s got the Whole World in His hands!” The power in that simple children’s song immediately changed our perspectives. We laughed. Prayed and gave the situation to the Lord, knowing He was in control. With that memory in mind, I hummed the tune to myself, prayed and went to sleep knowing worry wouldn’t help, everything was in His hands!

When I woke up the next morning, I was so happy I had trusted the situation to the Lord. At 5:45 AM, sunbeams were already shining through the window and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. When we arrived at the beach for set up and throughout the rest of the day, it seemed as if the weather had been tailor made for us – warm and embracing heat greeted us in the open sun and gentle breezes that felt like brand new, top-of-the-line air-conditioning welcomed us in the shade. The adult volunteers and middle school students who came to serve, came in force and the families who came to participate in our “Son Games” Olympic-themed week, came in strength throughout the entire week! Even as Thursday arrived, with torrential thunderstorms raging throughout the early morning hours, and dark gray clouds menacingly hovering at daybreak, the sun powered through by midmorning and the rains stayed away from our ministry site, though they fell in abundance only a few miles to the south of us! We felt a special sense of God’s grace and provision for our week of ministry in the City of Racine along the beach, letting our lights shine for the Glory of God!

Let me be careful to clarify that we did not control the weather, nor do we expect the weather to always fall “in our favor” when we do outreaches. I also understand that in many professions, the work marches on regardless of what’s happening outside. Nevertheless, when atmospheric conditions have mattered, I have seen some amazing changes in the weather all over the world when the Gospel of Jesus Christ is being shared and God’s people are about God’s business with His agenda and mission as the driving force behind ministry efforts. Our Kids Summer Outreach at North Beach Racine provided a strong testimony to that point. Even when the weather has gone afoul, I’ve seen “Plan B’s” have much more impact and effectiveness than the “Plan A’s” originally undertaken when people cry out to the Lord for help and direction.

The Lord is constantly teaching us lessons and reminding us of basic spiritual truths as we walk the journey of faith. For me, this week was a reminder that no matter how much one plans or how much experience one has, prayer humility and trust in the Lord MUST be an indispensable component of ministry preparation EVERY time one serves. As you plan your activities in the days ahead, and check out the weather report, take some time to consider the One who has the “wind and the rain in His hands” and to contemplate how he might want you to direct your day, whether you bask in the sunshine or fight against gale-force winds. In the words of the timeless 70’s song, “Put your hand in the hand of the Man who stilled the water” and take confidence that he can get you where you need to go whatever weather your day may hold. May the Son shine in your life today, whatever the weather may be! Until next time…

Sam.

Caught In The Act!

Since the early days of my vocational Christian training and service, I have heard the warnings surrounding the many pitfalls that can lead to ministerial misconduct. Throughout my ministerial service, I have witnessed a few colleagues succumb to various temptations related to these pitfalls, leaving a trail of broken trust, broken hearts and broken lives behind them. In most cases, the revelations came by way of being “caught in the act” of doing something contrary to their calling. Fortunately, the bulk of my ministry experience has not been comprised of these types of happenings. In fact, I as have reflected on my life of ministry, I’ve been reminded of the many times I have stumbled upon a situation where I have actually caught someone in the act of carrying out a beautiful example of ministry service that before my unintentional intrusion was known only to them and a few others or only to them and the Lord.

During the last few months, as I have kept my eyes open, I have had the blessing of stumbling across a brother on his knees in fervent prayer in a hideaway out of view from the general public. I have witnessed sisters in prayer on a Saturday morning, walking throughout the church, asking for the Lord’s blessing for the day of ministry ahead. I also have knowledge of a Sister physically on her face before God praying during a critical time of decision for a major church ministry. I have seen a preacher washing dishes during a meeting while another brother taught, not calling attention to himself and only appearing as the crowd was heading home. In another instance I witnessed someone assisting in the kitchen so that the kitchen crew for the next day could have a head start on their duties. I’ve beheld sisters gifted in administration doing heavy lifting in the middle of their busy days to expedite set up for a big ministry outreach, people visiting infirmed friends out of the view of others. I’ve also been shown cards and letters written, heard the impact of phone calls of encouragement, and heard the testimony of the power of a hug, or even a quiet smile and warm greeting – all delivered off-line and all done for nothing more than the blessing of others and the glory of God.

In these days where scandals get so much attention, let’s not forget to praise the Lord for those faithful servants who consistently and faithfully carry out their Christian duty out of glow of the lights. After all, these are the kind of people who don’t need lights or glory, for the glory of God shines through every act of service they do. Let’s be like them and let our lights so shine before people “…that they may see [our] good deeds and praise [our] Father in heaven” (Paraphrase of Matthew 5:14).

Until next time...

Sam.

Grip Hands

No one attains success or satisfaction in life totally free of the contributions of others. No one can truly contribute to the benefit and well-being of society as an independent player. Throughout the years, I have been reminded over and over again of the blessings I have received from the input and contributions of others in my life and been continually humbled by how those who have helped me continue to stand by me in prayer, encouragement and love. One such individual with whom I’ve been able to reestablish contact through online social network is COL (ret.) Barry Willey. Barry came into my life when I started attending a Bible Study he taught at my then home church, the 82nd Airborne Division Memorial Chapel. He was teaching a study on Job, a study that had my undivided attention as my plans for a career as an Army Officer seemed improbable at best, and I was at a critical time of soul-searching and contemplation. Then Captain Barry Willey, came alongside me and joined a dedicated cadre of other godly men to encourage me, uphold me and challenge me not to wallow in self-pity, but to search out just what God might have in store for my life. Through Barry’s encouragement and with the blessing of the other brothers in our Chapel, I began to take on more leadership in our congregation and took steps that would eventually confirm God’s gifting in my life and lead me to vocational Christian Service as a Missionary and Pastor.

I caught glimpses of Barry over the years as he continued to serve the nation, overjoyed to see him on television as the US Military Spokesman for U.S. rescue and security operations in Haiti in 1994. We exchanged a few e-mails over the years, but intense involvement in our nation’s security on his part, and deep involvement in starting new ministries on mine, limited our interactions to short greetings and “attaboys”. Nevertheless, Barry was never far from my thoughts and remained in my prayers consistently. A while back, I took a chance to look him up on a social networking service. After a few false starts, we were finally able to get back into the groove of communicating. We began to recount what the Lord had been doing in each of our lives, and Barry shared that he had written a book about a friend and leader who had impacted him and countless others in a way that continued to make a difference even now. He encouraged me to read the book, and I was moved deeply by the story of Jon Shine. Here’s the review I wrote for the book much as it appears on Amazon.com:

“Powerful and compelling, Barry Willey’s tribute to his friend and mentor Lieutenant Jon Shine, the book Out of the Valley stands tall as a monumental literary salute to the life of a good and godly man who in the brief span of 23 years left a spiritual legacy that continues to bear fruit more than 40 years after his death. Willey’s prose is crisp and forthright, chronicling the cadet, soldier and man of faith that was Jon Shine in an engrossing and easy to read manner. Shine’s story is both as comforting as an evening with a dear friend, and as jarring as a one’s arrival as a new recruit to the first day of military training. It is above all, inspiring – as a story of the eternal and unquenchable hope that exists between men sharing faith in the risen Christ and as a story of men bound together by love, duty and honor. It is also a practical work, complete with questions for reflection at the end of each chapter, allowing the reader to consider the spiritual truths and leadership principles that overflow in abundance from each chapter of Jon Shine’s life that is shared. If you’re searching for a compact, applicable and uplifting book that will leave you forever changed, you’ll find no finer work than Barry Willey’s Out of the Valley.”

As I’ve been reconnected to Barry and after reading his book, a phrase from the West Point song “The Corps” keeps coming to mind. This phrase symbolizes the active connection West Pointers maintain with each other as the “Long Gray Line” continues to grow as the years go by. It is the phase “Grip Hands”. It’s the phrase a friend and classmate used to call each of us to comfort one another as we heard reports of other classmates who had died in defense of the nation. It is a phrase that invokes images of care, encouragement and support through all the circumstances and situations of life. It is a phrase calls us beyond selfish living and calls us to an awareness that we have not become who we are by ourselves, and we cannot continue throughout our lives with only our own well-being in view. It is a phrase that clearly characterized Jon Shine’s life, and represents the truths Jon passed on to Barry Willey and others who in turn passed on those truths to me. With whom are you connecting for support, encouragement and care? To whom are you passing on the legacy of the lessons you have learned in your life? I challenge you today to reach out beyond yourself and commit yourself to be connected to others that you may reach higher heights in your own day and so that you can pass on a legacy of faith, truth, and love that will have an impact on generations yet to come. Grip hands!

Until Next time,

Sam.

Taking Tests

“Stagger Desks!” Two words that can produce chills down the spine of anyone who has spent time in a classroom at the United States Military Academy at West Point! With that command, cadets begin to arrange their desks in preparation for rigorous intellectual testing that will expose their brilliance or ignorance regarding a particular area of academic focus. I remember the warm and welcoming feeling of confidence I felt in the humanities and language art classes that came rather easily for me, knowing that my testing would produce satisfying results and provide me with a maximum opportunity to excel! Unfortunately, I also remember the icy terror that gripped me in the torrential current of the Math and Science classes, as tests in those areas manifested my need for much improvement!

I am now grateful for all of those testing experiences, as they provided valuable life lessons for me in success and failure that continue to bear fruit in ways I could never have imagined during those cold, wintry days on the banks of the Hudson. Since that time, I have learned that every one faces tests all throughout life. We are all confronted with a lifetime series of trials, tribulations, dilemmas, difficulties and inconveniences that continually examine our character and indicate our level of faith, maturity and decency at various stages of our personal journeys. In my life as a minister, husband, father and adult son, I have faced and continue to face “real life” tests that have brought me to sometimes excruciating life junctions that either build up or tear down, depending on my reaction to the situation. Even as I share my thoughts this very moment, Luz and I are in the midst of a challenge involving the selling of our home that is testing the source of our confidence and the true foundation of our trust. This season of testing is reminding us in a new and wonderful way that our confidence and strength will never find adequacy within ourselves, but only in the Lord Who has made us and sustains us. The Early Church Leader James lays out the process and purpose of life testing and God’s desired response for us like this:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

I certainly would never have chosen most of the tests I have faced or the ones I now face for myself, but I am beginning to learn that I can positively choose my reaction to and negotiation of those tests as they come my way, knowing that I cannot mature and be all that God intends without them. Are you facing a critical test today? Remember testing is common to the human experience, and largely out of individual control. Your reaction to your test IS in your control. Remember that even the most withering trial can be an opportunity for the most glorious response if we choose to trust God’s working in our lives through it. With godly perspective in our times of trial, we can encourage, teach, model and lead through perseverance by faith in the Lord who is not only looking out for our interests as individuals, but desires for us as maturing individuals to minister to others who are hurting too! Be encouraged in your trial! Lift your eyes to the Lord in your time of testing! Let the Lord lead you through the School of Hard Knocks with honors! See the power of God at work in you and through you as you allow Him to use the tests in your life for your growth and the blessing and benefit of others. Until next time…

Sam.