When Sammy Became Daddy!

During the early years of my childhood, I called my father by his first name. It wasn't out of disrespect. It was just that as an only child, I only heard my parents refer to each other by their first names and mimicked what I heard. "Good morning Sammy!" I would greet him each morning. "Sammy, can we play horsey?" I would ask. He was always ready with a quick smile and a "Yeah Man, let's play!" This really bothered Mommy, but my father was simply so delighted about the world of fatherhood that he insisted that as long as he could have a relationship with his son, he could care less what his son called him. So, the name stuck.

When I turned 3, "Sammy" had to go far away. He had been away many times before, but this was the first time that I would be old enough to remember. The far away place was on the news all the time, and there were lots of pictures and film footage of people dressed just like Sammy. They called the place Vietnam, and Mommy and Sammy said lots of prayers and shed lots of tears before he left. After he departed for Vietnam, Mommy and I prayed everyday for Sammy to be OK and for a lot of other things that I didn't quite understand. We saw the patch that I remembered being on his shoulder on the news all the time - Mommy said it meant Sammy was in something called the 173rd Airborne, and that they were doing very important work. We stayed with both sets of grandparents in Mississippi during that time, and we would make unedited reel to reel recordings of family conversations, including arguments, chaos and everything. Sammy wrote back and said that he and his friends in Vietnam loved those tapes and listened to them over and over again.

Everyone in Mississippi worked hard to make sure Mommy and I had a good time and didn't worry about Sammy too much. One project Mommy had was that every day she would show me Sammy's picture all throughout the day and say, "Daddy!" It seemed that at least 100 times a day, she would show me his picture and repeat, "Daddy!" No lectures, no speeches, just a constant repetition - "Daddy"! Mommy said Sammy was Daddy.

After about a year, Mommy and all my relatives got very excited. They said that we had to get everything ready, because Sammy was coming home! It looked like we were going to have a big party! There was so much food being cooked and people I had never seen before were saying that they knew me, Mommy and Sammy. They were always pinching my cheeks and saying how cute I was and how much I looked like Sammy. After a day or two of getting ready, Mommy said it was time to go to Jackson to pick up Sammy. I didn't quite understand where Jackson was - I thought it was our last name and was a little confused that now it was a place! Anyway, off to Jackson we went! There were so many people at the Airport, it was hard to see, but I wanted to help and looked as hard as I could to see if I could find Sammy. I searched and searched - as did everyone else - and still no sign of Sammy. Then, as I gave it one last try I saw that smile - I would know that smile anywhere! Then I saw his Khaki uniform and his spit-shined Jump Boots and there could be no doubt! I broke away from everybody and ran to him as fast as I could, "DADDY!" I blurted out! If I thought he had been smiling before, I thought his smile would light up the whole airport after he heard me shout for the very first time, "DADDY!" I was surprised by it myself, but somehow, it just felt right. We all hugged and laughed and cried and prayed and celebrated! Sammy was my Daddy and I was so happy and I was so proud!

In a little more than a year Daddy would once again leave for Vietnam and travel to many other places. The reunions were always sweet and his smile was always the first thing I saw. In short order, however, I began to understand that not everyone who went away was fortunate enough to come back alive. The losses our military community suffered always hit close to home. My teacher lost her son, our school librarian lost her fiance, and some friends lost their dads. I was amazed by the strength of character showed by these friends during times of crushing loss and the dignity and hope they displayed as they pressed on. It would be an understatement to say that their courage was inspiring.

Though I am no longer directly connected to the active military community by service or relations, I am nonetheless Army born and bred and by virtue of rearing and training inextricably bound to the ideals and values that continue to characterize a community that serves without reservation and at a cost not easily understood by our society as a whole. My personal understanding began when Sammy became Daddy. I am committed to honor and remember his many sacrifices and the sacrifices of dads and moms, daughters and sons and their families who have served and supported so that the rest of us can pursue the blessings of liberty with joy and abandon. As Father's Day approaches, take the time to remember the "Sammies" in your lives who are away from their loved ones and homes and to thank them for what they do to make our world a better place in which to live. You may not have experienced their world, but you can use my story as a beginning point of reference. They will be grateful and your expression of gratitude will make a difference for them and the ones they love. Until next time...

"Little" Sammy :-)
Sam.

Georgia On My Mind

The last time I saw my mother, in the summer of 1996, we were bidding her farewell at the end our vacation at my parent's home in North Carolina. I remember seeing her sobbing as we pulled away from the house and being strangely overcome with the foreboding thought that I would never see her alive again. My thoughts proved to be true, and I was only to have a few now precious conversations with her before receiving the news that she had passed into eternity only a few months later. The last thing I was ever to do directly for my mother was to officiate her funeral. It was a day of extreme emotion. I was profoundly sad at not being able to talk to her or be with her when she died. No last "I love you's", no last hugs, no last laughs - just the faint memory of our last conversation and a deep frustration that I didn't make more of a mental note as to the exact content of our discussion. I remember at the time of that last conversation thinking, "I'll be able to share more with her later." The "later" never came.

Though I was somewhat haunted by these regrets, I nevertheless had a true sense of peace and confidence on the difficult and heart-heavy day of her funeral. My peace and confidence came from the undeniable truth that I knew about my mother's life - She was not just a "nice" or "good" woman, she was a true woman of faith. Her love of God was strong and deep - rooted in the knowledge that Jesus had paid the price for her sin and that she would spend eternity with Him. She shared her love of Christ with anyone who would listen, and showed her love of the Lord by loving all she met without reservation. Though I couldn't remember the specific context of our last conversation, I received comfort from the fact that I knew our exchange included a simple admonition that she always delivered as we ended our phone conversations for the last years of her life. She would simply say, "Darrell, trust the Lord. Don't forget about the Lord. Don't stop giving your life to the Lord. If you do that, no matter what happens, you'll be alright. Trust the Lord! You hear me?" It was her nature to make sure that I had a grasp on the "Bottom Line" at all times.

This Mother's Day, Georgia Laverne Jackson and her bottom line exhortations are at the forefront of my mind. Her hugs, her kisses, her laughter and her words have never left my mind and her love and care continue to sustain me more than a dozen years after her passing. Of course, because she is no longer with me in this life, Mother's Day always brings very mixed emotions. My celebration is always bittersweet because I simply miss her so much. Nevertheless, the pleasant and loving memories of her love and service to our family and others bring me great joy and call me to a higher standard of faith, service and parenthood. I am also able to celebrate the strengths I saw in her through the strengths I see in my wife Luz and the legacy of Faith-filled womanhood she has passed on to our four daughters. It is that testimony of on-going faith and legacy of godly strength that still bring a smile to my face each Mother's Day in spite of my mother's absence from us and presence with the Lord. With that in mind, let me encourage those of you who are able to give your mom a call, hug her, kiss her, shower her with praise, don't hold back any outpouring of love you can give in honoring her on this dedicated opportunity established in her honor. For those of you whose mother's are on the other side of the veil, let me challenge you to use this day as an opportunity to be thankful for the woman who invested so much in making you the person that you are. That's what I am doing this weekend. Thanks to Ray Charles it's easy for me. It's just an Old Sweet Song that keeps Georgia on my mind. Until next time...

Sam.

All Grown Up!

This past Sunday, our youngest daughter, Victoria, celebrated her 4th birthday! Any child's birthday is a big deal and a wonderful time of celebration, but each birthday is especially so for our Victoria! As most of you remember, Victoria was born very prematurely at 28 weeks gestation and struggled for her life for the first two months after her birth. The Lord graciously touched her body and she grew stronger and stronger until she was able to graduate from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and venture out into the great big world that awaited her. Now that she is four, she is walking, talking, running and jumping and eager to do things on her own and to help any of us in our various tasks too whether we need it or not! It's so much fun to hear her exclaim, "I'm all grown up now! I can help!" It just brings smiles to all of our faces!

Even though Victoria is the most vocal daughter we have in declaring her womanhood, we have three other daughters who have the right to brag about womanhood, but refrain from doing so - Coco and Maris who are fully grown and out on their own, and Joana who is incredibly mature for her age and nearing the threshold of adult independence. I can remember when each of my three older girls were tiny too, and I often find myself feeling as if I'm caught in a time warp, remembering them in early childhood striving towards independence and seeing them actually having achieved mature womanhood right before my eyes.

I think what has most blessed me beyond any expectations I had when they were children, is their earnest concern for others, their eagerness to be of help whenever and however they can and especially their unwavering dedication to look after Luz and me. We all have problems and challenges, and I am no exception. My girls have been of amazing assistance to me, encouraging me, pushing me onward and even gently yet effectively giving me advice when I find myself "stuck" in search of solutions. I cannot adequately describe the joy and overwhelming gratitude of having a grown daughter hold your hand and offer to pray for you without your asking for it, or to have a teen aged daughter listen to a problem and offer a hug and a word of encouragement. There's just nothing so rich as having your own "little girl" listen to you ramble on about some problem and to have her offer sound advice on making things right and moving ahead past the challenge.

When Luz and I were busy raising our older girls in their early years, it never occurred to us that as they went on to live their own lives and deal with their own problems, they would actually present themselves again and again to help us whenever we needed it! Now, lest I be accused of false advertising, we do have our moments where the generation gap is evident in communication breakdowns and differences of opinion. Nevertheless, I have found that even in the midst of the times we don't see eye to eye, it is imperative on my part to acknowledge what the Lord is doing in the lives of my daughters and to be open to the possibility that the Lord just may have given them some pearl of wisdom or nugget of truth that could help to address whatever difficulty that faces me.

A dear friend saw a picture of my family taken during the summer and called me a rich man. He was right. I have so much to be thankful for - things that just can't be measured by a bank account, but things that really do give one wealth. I'm thankful for the blessings of daughters who are all grown up, not quite grown and who think their grown. My prayer is to treasure these wonderful women and the woman who gave them to me all my days and in everything I do to honor the love and blessings they have showered upon me ever since I became "Daddy!" Until next time...


Sam.

How To Honor Your Mom All Your Life

My mom passed away unexpectedly over 10 years ago, and Mother's Day always brings mixed emotions. On the one hand, I have a great deal of joy remembering what a great Mother she was and the wonderful mother my wife is. On the other hand, I still feel a bit of sorrow at not being able to honor my mom personally with cards, flowers, gifts and other tokens that symbolize the great love and respect I have for her.

Nevertheless, as I thought about it, I realized through reading Proverbs 31, that there were some substantial ways that I could honor my mom for all the days of my life that go beyond the token efforts of cards, candy and flowers. In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel (aka Solomon) receives valuable instruction from his mother on how to live his life with integrity and goodness. His mother gives him advice in the areas of relationships, economics, compassion, justice and leadership. These life lessons are capped with a call to fear the Lord above all. Ephesians 6:1 tells children to obey their parents in the Lord, for it is the right thing to do. There is no statute of limitations on godly instruction which can be applied effectively for a lifetime, not just one's childhood.

Therefore, the wise words of Proverbs 31 provide each one of us with a template for living in a manner that allows us to honor our moms long after they have departed this life and long after our hair has turned grey. Are you honoring your mom today? Micah 6:8 lays out the template in terms that are easy to understand:

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Live by these words and honor your mom today! Until next time,

Sam.