I Can't Help Myself

I just can't help remembering. 20 years ago, I was sitting on a "Big Iron Bird" in the middle of a 22-hour + adventure, making my way towards my new bride-to-be and two beautiful little girls who knew me at the time as "Daddy Sam". After a summer of challenging ministry, a conviction that the Lord was changing my ministry focus and unexpectedly falling head-over-heels in love in the Philippines I returned the the U.S. with an unrelenting drive and determination that I would get back to the Philippines before Christmas. As a seminary student with no job, no house and a really, really beat up car, it seemed improbable that I was in a position to get married, let alone support an entire family, but when God opens a door he also provides what it needed once the threshold is passed!

There was quite a bit of concern that I had bitten off more than I could chew. My mentor's wife asked me with great concern in her graceful Southern Bell style, "Sam, I concerned about you Dear. How are you going to support a wife and TWO children?" I didn't know the details, but I had spent literally every day of my life since my 5th birthday praying for the Lord to lead me in my choice of a wife and now His guidance had led me to Luz. I didn't know the particulars, but I knew I would lead me step by step and He would provide the way.

My presence on the plane was proof that the Lord WOULD make a way. On the heels of returning from the Philippines, I had just raised support for a pretty costly mission trip and here I was convinced that the Lord wanted me to return to the Philippines in less than 4 months. A dear Brother from Brazil gave me some great advice - "Sam, tell the people you know what you honestly believe the Lord has done, and what you believe he is doing now. All the while work, pray, plan, do all you can, but leave the results to Him. If it's truly His will, you'll be on a plane by December." In the last week of November 1989, I was on a Northwest 747 headed for Manila. I can't help but remember how the Lord provided.

I can't help but remember thinking about those two little girls and how my dearest friends worked so hard to help me to communicate my love to them. These friends had helped me make some flip page picture books with sound for the girls describing life in South Carolina as well as helping me make some cassette tape recordings of children's stories Like "The 3 Little Pigs", complete with sound effects and supporting cast voices. Our dorm mates got more than a few laughs listening to us make silly voices and use sound effects from our record collections to simulate the Big Bad Wolf blowing down houses! I'll never forget the HUGE hugs I received from my girls when I got back to Manila and how my friends' support had helped me to connect just a little bit closer so that I could lay a foundation for the family God was building.

I can't help but remember waking up after my first night back in the Philippines in a mission house surrounded by missionaries from New Zealand who had heard bits and pieces of the story of how Luz and I met and who were so gracious in offering encouragement and support as brothers in the Lord even though we were so newly acquainted.

I just can't help but remember feeling the Lord's peace as a coup attempt erupted 2 days after my arrival and I politely declined an invitation to leave the Philippines until a "safer" time arrived. I remembered being told that there is "No safer place than the center of God's will." As planes flew overhead and shelling was audible in the distance, I knew what God was doing, and new that he would see us through.

I just can't help but remember the joy I felt as the 4 of us stood together in a Manila park and a friend took a picture of us as night fell. God had answered the prayer of a lifetime and an abundance of prayers for daily guidance, and I was right in the center of His will, enjoying the fruit of His provision.

Over the next month, I'll be sharing my thoughts of this special time of my life. Anniversaries are designed to help us to remember times of great importance and to reflect on the impact of those times on our lives. At the 20-year mark of my amazing life journey as a husband and father, I am compelled to remember a time when God blessed me in such a powerful way, that even the gleanings of that wonderful life harvest are producing more fruit than I can contain. I hope you'll indulge my testifying of God's greatness to me through this life changing time. I'm sorry, but I just can't help myself. I hope you'll remember something wonderful that God has done for you and perhaps feel moved to some spontaneous praise too! Until next time...

SAM.

Barney Rides Again!

Early this Sunday morning I dropped off our daughter Joana at her High School, Grosse Pointe North, to embark on a 4-day Choir trip to New York City. She and her schoolmates will not only be treated to see the sights, take in a couple of Broadway Shows and have the total NYC tourist experience, they will have the honor and privilege of singing in Carnegie Hall! Joana has been away before on church youth retreats and regional school events, but this trip is the opening of a new chapter - those preliminary signs that another Jackson Eagle will all too soon be leaving our comfortable and protected nest and heading out on her own. As this thought whirled around in my head, I was comforted by another strange idea - "At least I don't have to deal with Barney anymore!" When Joana was much younger, that overpoweringly Pleasant Purple Reptile lived up to his species name, Tyrannosaurus Rex - King Tyrant - by ruling our home with a Velvet purple fist for almost 2 years as Joana went from toddler to elementary aged child. Not a day went by during that period without Barney's effusive charms being in full display for hours of video on end! Any attempt to squelch his reign was met by a hysterical scream for , "BARNEY!! BARNEY!!" The King had his way again! I remember the absolute joy I felt on the fateful day Barney's reign ended. "Daddy" Joana began matter-of-factly, "I'm too big for Barney. He's for babies and I'm a big girl now!" If I had been thinking clearly, I would have realized the bitter-sweet nature of the moment. Instead, I was so consumed with Barney loathing that I missed the true significance of the moment and almost jumped with glee in celebration of his retirement form our home. Barney was through, and our lives would be back to normal!

13 years later, this Barney memory was fresh in my mind as I drove away from Grosse Pointe North High School on Sunday and contemplated Joana's amazing transformation from a child to a young woman with so much to offer and so much to enjoy. I also smugly considered that now that we have another toddler, how fortunate we were that kid's programming had so much more variety and sophistication now and Barney was old news - or so I thought.

Joana's being away has allowed our daughter Victoria to grow up some on her own and to establish a little independence. She has quit the bottle, insisted on helping us with household chores and shown a greater appreciation for the variety of ways she can choose to learn and be entertained. She can choose everything from Noggin to Playhouse Disney to the Nick, Jr. with countless choices of wholesome "edutainment" that we can all enjoy together. An amazing variety of programming available at the touch of a button. Nothing could have prepared me for the programming choice she made on Sunday evening as we settled down for some rest and some family TV time together.

"Mommy and Daddy", she stated confidently, "I want to watch Barney!" "OK Sweetheart", I replied, "we'll tune it to...BARNEY!" "What do you mean BARNEY?" My brain had suddenly locked up and I was in disbelief. Attempting to recover, I blurted out, "DO you mean Lem Barney, the Detroit Lions legend?" She looked at me with the strangest look and simply said, "No Daddy, Barney the Purple Dinosaur!" I turned to Luz and asked, "How did she hear about him? You mean, he's still on TV?" Luz calmly responded, "I guess so. After all, On Demand has a ton of classic programming including children's standards, so why wouldn't they include a program as classic as Barney?" I was speechless. Somehow, Barney was riding high again and now Victoria had 24/7 access to him via On Demand programming. How did he do it? How could he manage such a comeback?

After what seemed to be an eternity of the Purple One, when it was bedtime, Victoria asked for story from her Children's Bible and we opened up to the account of Jesus and his love for children. It's a very familiar passage where children rush to Jesus with delight and the disciples recoil in horror attempting to mute their fun and to keep Jesus at arms length. Jesus rebukes the disciples and forcefully commands them to let the children come to Him because their child-like faith is the kind of faith God desires for those who serve Him. Then Jesus embraces and blesses the children. When I settled down with Victoria and watched Barney on the video, it occurred to me that Barney has a wonderfully welcoming demeanor that children recognize and are drawn to. Barney is always ready to play, teach and to affirm in a way that is vital to a child's well-being. As I looked at Victoria's young face and thought back to Joana's face at that age, I realized, contrary to my personal preferences, I needed to encourage her enjoyment of Barney, not resist it. In fact, as the weather warmed up, I even found myself emulating Barney and joined Victoria at the playground, swinging on swings and sliding on slides - really acting like Barney - without the Dinosaur suit, of course! The importance of this attitude really hit me when Victoria and I got home. As we approached the end of the day, Victoria ran and got her children's Bible and asked me to read another story about Jesus. She was eager to hear what the Bible said, because she had seen it applied in very simple terms in our time on the playground Barney style. Imagine - a theological application from a purple dinosaur! So now, I am thankful for all the rich variety the Lord has allowed in my life, including that Purple Reptile who always has time for children. If Barney can carve out some time for kids, we can too! Let the children come to you and bless them all you can. You'll never regret the silly, child-like moments that yield a lifetime of healthy, loving grown-up fruit. Until next time,


Sam.